Treatment Foster Care: Stephanie's Story
Stephanie was just beginning to blossom into a teenager when she arrived at her foster mom Dina’s home on her 13th birthday. Unlike many other girls just turning 13, Stephanie was too uncertain about her future to be excited.
Coming from a neglectful home, Stephanie entered the social services system at age 8 and had lived with a few foster families in the Board of Child Care’s Treatment Foster Care program before she was placed into Dina’s care. She felt angry, unwanted and mistrustful of the adults in her life. She admits that she acted out and tested Dina. She threatened to leave, but Dina told her that her problems would only follow her if she did. So she stayed and, with Dina’s help, worked through many of her emotional issues.
“She’s been the only one who has kept me. She didn’t give me up,” says Stephanie, who is now 17 and readying herself for college.
As her foster parent, Dina not only gave Stephanie a safe, loving roof over her head, she became a role model. “Strong,” “independent,” “level-headed” and “stable” are just a few of the adjectives Stephanie uses to describe her foster mom. “You can throw a ton of bricks at her and she still stands strong. That’s what I want to be like,” she says.
Dina says she has always focused on teaching Stephanie to have self-respect and to stay focused on her education and future. “I’ve told her things are not okay right now, but they’ll get better,” Dina says. “I think now she understands that.”
Stephanie has become such a part of Dina’s family that no one realizes she is in foster care unless they are told. Dina’s family members all refer to her as their “granddaughter,” “niece,” or “cousin.” She participates in “girl’s nights out” and annual spring break trips to a timeshare in Williamsburg, Virginia, with Dina’s sister and nieces. People often comment to Dina how she looks so much like her “daughter” Stephanie. “We just laugh,” chuckles Dina.
At the same time, Dina has encouraged Stephanie to stay in regular touch with her biological mother and siblings. She has pointed out that Stephanie’s mother made mistakes and that everyone deserved second chances.
Stephanie is set to graduate third in her class from Northwestern High School in Baltimore, and will be moving to Salisbury University where she plans to earn a bachelor’s degree in forensic psychology. Once she is 18 and officially enrolled full-time at Salisbury, she will no longer be legally under Dina’s care, but Dina says she will still be a part of her family.
“I’m proud of her,” says Dina. “It’s rewarding to see her go on to adulthood.”
